We’re a few days into September, and there’s a chill in the air here in Oslo, Norway, signaling an end to a beautiful Summer season. It will soon be time to dig out warm sweaters and jackets from the closet, light some candles and enjoy a warm cup of tea by the fire (if you have a fireplace, that is… I don’t, but I digress). As much as I love summer and all it has to offer, there is something about slowing down and going within, as the more introverted seasons of Fall and Winter will invite you to do. We’re cyclical beings and living in accordance with nature and the seasons, is something that I’ve come to enjoy more and more in recent years.
It has been an eventful summer in many ways, and I’ve been wanting to and planning to blog for a while now, but somehow one thing or the other has been getting in the way. Either I had planned to but other stuff got in the way, or I just wasn’t quite in the right frame of mind. But today I finally have both the time and the inclination to write a little bit, although I have to admit I feel a little resistance at the same time. That is something that has popped up a bit since I picked up my blogging again this year. I’m not sure what lies at the heart of it, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I’m becoming more and more committed to stepping out authentically, and as I do that, old wounds are being triggered that has to do with not feeling safe revealing my true self to the world. Being that as it may, I’m still committed to sharing my experiences, so here goes…
I’ve had an intense couple of months, where old wounds of mine have been triggered and I’ve been challenged in different ways. We’ve been through a fiery eclipse season, and the energies are still lingering from that last lunar eclipse in Pisces, at least as far as I’m concerned. It fell in my 4th house of family, roots and emotional foundation and I ended up having a bit of a family crisis in the midst of it. My brother ended up in hospital out of the blue, and so me and my stepmom had to take turns looking after the kids for a few days. I was happy to do so, of course, but it triggered some childhood wounds and experiences at the same time.
As I have written about in my bio and elsewhere on this blog, I grew up with a mother that battled severe mental illness and she was in and out of mental hospitals throughout my childhood and teenage years. That took its toll on me and my brothers, as well as the family as a whole, and this whole incident with my brother brought up some unresolved trauma from those experiences. His family life mirrors what we grew up with in many ways, as he married someone who also suffered from mental illness, that grew worse over the years and ended in her, just like my mother, taking her own life a few years ago. My father, as a result of all the stress and challenges that this home situation caused, also ended up in hospital for a periode of time, from the pure exhaustion of it all.
This is essentially what happened to my brother also, and although there are differences (such as our mom still being alive and able to take care of us as our dad was in hospital), it really got me on high alert, wanting to protect the kids from experiencing the trauma and pain of it all and not suffering as we did. Although it’s impossible to shield them entirely from life’s challenges, which I had to realize after my initial triggering, the worst case scenarios as far as the kids were concerned did not come to pass, and thankfully they ended up being well taken care of in this difficult time. My brother is also well taken care of and already on the mend, so I can in many ways breathe a sigh of relief, yet the childhood triggers have taken a little longer to release on my part.
As if this wasn’t enough, a few weeks ago I experienced an incident at work where one of the residents threatened to take his own life, and I was the one who ended up talking him out of it. It all ended well, and it may not have been a serious attempt in the end, probably more a cry for help and attention, yet it was still a dramatic experience for me, and brought up some reactions after the fact around the suicides within my own family, with my mother and brother. In the end I was happy to have been there to help the resident during the incident, and pleasantly surprised to remain very calm throughout my interaction, but there were definitely some reactions and emotions to work through after the fact.
So in a relatively short periode of time, I’ve come face to face with perhaps the two most challenging experiences of my life, and had to work through the emotional turmoil that they’ve triggered in me. I’m honestly still reeling from that last one I have to admit, as I need a bit more time to work through all that it has brought up. I’m not entirely sure what all the lessons of it all are at this point, although the fact that everything worked out better this time around, compared to my previous experiences, is something to take on board. It’s like life is showing me that although challenging incidents can occur, they don’t always have to end in tragedy. I think that is a feeling that I carry with me from childhood and past lives also, this fear that things will turn to shit. And that is a wound that has been particularly triggered on this ascension journey of mine. Yet, as my journey has started to show me in recent years, it doesn’t have to be this way. Sometimes good things happen, and challenging incidents can have a happy ending. And my nervous system needs to learn to not always expect the worst. 💜
I have more things to share, but I will have to end it there for today, as this post is getting long. There have been some twin flame and relational triggers and experiences also, and other realizations around my personality and inner child wounds, but more on that later, so stay tuned for that.
I hope your eclipse season wasn’t quite as intense as mine, but if you’re still feeling the lingering energy, be good to yourself as we move out of it for now. With that I send you, as always…
Much love & light,
Divine Love Alchemy 