I’m enjoying a hot chocolate at a local coffee shop as I write this new blog post, seeking refuge from the cold weather outside. The snow finally came just as the new year rolled in, and we’ve had quite a bit of it since then, with some really cold weather to boot. It’s January, so that’s to be expected here in Oslo, Norway, and I suppose it’s been the perfect time to slow down and go within, aligning with the winter’s stillness.
Although it’s a new year, and new energies are here, I find it takes time for it to fully anchor in. As far as I’m concerned the new year comes in 3 stages, first with the calendar turning to a new year, and I generally always feel a new energy coming in at that time. Then there is the Chinese new year, that arrives with eclipse season on February 17 this year, and bringing in the year of the fire horse. Lastly, the astrological new year comes with the March equinox and brings in the fresh energy of Aries season. So until then, I believe we will feel both the new and the old side by side, fighting for attention.
That is at least true for me so far, as I’ve had some deep clearings since I last wrote, especially during the two weeks preceding this one, with quite a bit of sleep issues. This week was lighter, though. I’ve felt a nice energy since Monday (perhaps due to Neptune shifting into Aries) and I’ve slept well for the most part, even on the nights before my job, which has generally been quite an issue for me. This morning I felt a slight unease though, I’ll admit, but I think that is the full moon energies arriving, and beginning to clear some stuff, as full moons tend to do.
Speaking of full moons, the full moon in Cancer a month back really set the tone for this new year for me, helping me to see myself in a new light, bringing me more into alignment with my true self and with that a commitment to love and stay true to myself on a whole new level. That hasn’t always been easy for me, as my people-pleasing, at times self-effacing self, has always had a tendency to put other people’s needs above my own.
This past year, especially, I felt the need to take a step back and focus more on doing things just for me, and stop letting other people lead or dictate how to live my life. Not that others have necessarily told me what to do, but I saw how my attachment issues have made me acquiesce to doing things that I in time have started to outgrow. I perhaps tried a little too long to hang on to relationships and ways of being that weren’t really me anymore. I’ve come to find in recent weeks, that I’m a leader, not a follower, and so I’ve had to pull back completely from certain relationships and start to live the life that I want to live, step by step.
This takes time, of course, as I’m not really used to putting myself first in that way, and it’s also about spending my time consciously doing things that give me something, not just doing things out of habit or because it’s what the people I hang out with want to do. I’ve had to put some boundaries around that for myself, and I’m the better for it, although it hasn’t always been easy. I feel it’s a step on the way to reclaiming and embodying who I truly am, which requires an overhaul of several areas of my life, both my work and social life. Or, in other words, I have to shift and let go of that within myself that stands in the way of me being aligned with who I truly am.
Today, as I’m writing this post, we have a full moon in Leo, which takes this one step further. It has come to my attention with this full moon that it’s not really enough for me just to be committed to my true self, but I also feel that it’s time to start living my life as my true self, too. That is, I want to show the world who I truly am, and stop hiding my light, so to speak. This is totally in line with the energies of Leo, which is all about shining your light, being visible and embrace all that you are.
That last part especially, embracing all that you are, is what I’m particularly feeling into right now. This past year, I’ve had the opportunity to step into more of a leadership role at my job, and I have actually, and somewhat surprisingly, found this to be a quite natural role for me to step into, and something that I have in many ways enjoyed. It is one of those things that has made me come to the conclusion that I really am a leader, not a follower and that it is an important part of who I am, which I wasn’t really aware of up until then.
However, as much as that has been and continues to be rewarding for me, I’ve recently come to find that this isn’t really encompassing my whole self-expression. It satisfies and challenges a part of me (my masculine part perhaps, is how I’ve been inclined to see it), but now I really feel the need to find an arena where I can express other parts of me that I can’t really do at work. I tried for the longest time to be happy and satisfied where I’m at (with my job), but I have to be honest with myself and realize that it really isn’t enough for me anymore. I need to express the spiritual part of me, the one that loves to deep-dive into emotional and deep psycho spiritual processes, astrology, yoga, meditation, past life exploration etc. I do this here on my blog, of course, but I’m starting to feel that I need to expand beyond this.
I want to my life expression to shift and focus more within this arena this year, and here and now, on my blog, I am claiming this. I feel that is my most honest and true expression of myself and who I have come here to be in this lifetime, and I want to share and help others who are going through similar experiences. I don’t know, and don’t really even care that much, what this will look like exactly right now, but I trust that the universe will guide me, if it is what’s meant to be.
I will let the light of the Leo full moon clear away obstacles in this regard, as well as the remaining time we have in the Chinese year of the snake (let the shedding complete!), eclipse season and Pisces season, and then we’ll see where I am with all this once the astrological new year begins (phew, it looks like it will be an intense few weeks ahead, so I’m glad I will have some vacation time and relaxation in Bali for at least some of it… 😅). Hopefully, I will at least have a bit more clarity by the end of it…
With that I wish you a beautiful full moon in Leo, and encourage you to shed whatever stands in your way of shining your light, and try to take good care of yourself in the process. ❤️
Sending you, as always, much love & light!
Divine Love Alchemy 