So I’m back from my trip to Paris, and have had a couple of days to recover. We spent 2 days in Disneyland, did some sightseeing and ended up walking a lot every day, plus I think there was a mold issue in the apartment where we stayed that affected me and everyone a bit, so I needed a couple of days to recover my energy and detox the mold, but today I’m feeling better physically at least, although a wee bit emotional. I don’t know what has triggered the latter, but I’ve been a little up and down this week since coming back. Most likely I’m still processing stuff from the trip, plus general stuff on my healing journey is coming up.
The first day after I came back I was very tired and had some allergy type symptoms (headache and lung/throat issues), but the following day I was much better and really felt good and clear, both physically and emotionally. I actually think the Paris trip sort of served as a challenge and an upgrade for me in a way. I felt a little bit apprehensive before going, as we would be 6 people sharing an apartment together, and I tend to have trouble sleeping when I don’t sleep alone or have my own space (challenges that being a sensitive and an empath tend to bring about), but that actually went really well. I slept quite well for the most part and only ended up taking melatonin 2 nights, so that was really nice to experience.
I feel like a shift has come about this year (or perhaps it even started last year in some ways), where things have turned around for me in my process and I’m experiencing more positive outcomes and feelings. It started last year when I began to experience more flow in my music creation endeavors, plus I also met a guy that seemed to be the relationship type of guy, as opposed to the commitment phobes I encountered earlier in my process (including the man I felt to be my twin flame until earlier this year). Although we had a connection, we didn’t end up in a relationship, as that just didn’t feel quite right, not to me anyway, but I find it significant that I attracted a different type of man than before and I see that as a positive development on my journey (my new twin flame also seems to be the relationship type of man, so the trend continues).
This shift also extended towards my job, where my attitude towards my job as a care worker shifted considerably. I released my entitlement issue (that the job was somehow beneath me), and began to slowly take more of an interest in the job itself, even to the point of perhaps considering it to be my mission (or at least partly). The jury is still out on that last point, but I do at least want to make a positive contribution where I’m at. Yet there have been issues in the workplace too, with management, stuff related to my new twin flame and other things that all play in as far as whether I want to continue working there. But for now I’ve decided to give it another try, so we’ll see how that fares.
For now I still have almost 2 more weeks left of vacation time, so I have time to clear and ground a little more, both after my trip, as well as working through other things that are coming up, some of it surrounding my twin flame and healing an issue I have around other people seemingly interfering in our connection (even if unintended). That is something that is coming up for me today, in fact, and the fact that he will no longer be working there feels a bit triggering to me, even if I also think that it’s for the best, given our connection. At least for right now. I think there are still too many issues that need to be healed and released for me to be in working proximity to him, so the space is probably needed, even if a part of me is sad about it. This issue also contributes to my apprehension about going back there, but I feel I need to give it a try, so I will do that, as I think that will actually also help in healing and bringing clarity to this particular issue.
I’m finding that resistance provides an important counterpoint and helps bringing up particular issues on the ascension journey. My job has served in that capacity many times, and continues to, and now this trip to Paris, albeit in a smaller scale, also provided some challenges to overcome. It was mostly my fear that was the issue when it came to the trip, which ultimately were unfounded, but going through with it gave me a feeling of victory overcoming my fears, and also with my sensitivity and sleep issues, that proved to be less now. Since I’m a little further along in my journey than before, it seems that the same issues continue to come up, yet the outcomes tend to be more positive now. Fear and apprehension come up when I encounter similar issues as before, but not shying away and still meeting the challenges head on, despite the fear, I find to be incredibly healing and uplifting.
The fear that comes up serves as a trigger for even deeper healing and is a driving force to further me on the journey. The fact that the outcomes are also more positive is also healing, and my job is still serving me in that capacity I feel, on a bigger scale than the trip. So we will see what the future holds with that, and how it plays in to my overall mission, but I feel that it does, and that it will be an important part of my growth going forward. So the fact that I feel resistance at times when it comes to my job, and other matters too, is in fact a big sign that there is something there for me to explore and that I have more healing to do. So the journey continues…
I trust that your own journey is providing you with many insights and healing experiences, even if it also brings challenges at times. I hope my words can be of help and comfort, and with that I sign off for today. As always, I send you much love & light!
Divine Love Alchemy 