So fall has definitely arrived here in Oslo, Norway. Within a week or two of getting back from my holiday in Greece, the temperature dropped markedly, and I had to dig out some warmer coats and the like from my closet. Normally, I love the different seasons here in Norway, and I don’t mind winter and snow. Perhaps that is partly because I lived overseas in warmer countries for many years, although from what I can recall, I enjoyed all of that when I grew up here as a child and teenager, too.
For the first time since I moved back however, I feel a little resistant to the change of seasons. I don’t know why that is. Perhaps it is because the weather in Oslo this summer wasn’t great, not getting as much sun as I would have liked. Although I did get my fill of that in Greece, it wasn’t quite enough. So I don’t quite feel ready for fall and colder weather, but perhaps it would help if I could plan a little trip during the colder season. So I’ll think about that and see if I can make that happen.
As we’re in October now, that means Eclipse season is here, and this week we’re gearing up for the Solar Eclipse in Libra (on October 14). The Aries/Libra nodal shift happened earlier this year, the first eclipse in Aries occurring back in April, and we’ll continue going deeper into the themes of these astrological signs in the coming 1-2 years. We’re still wrapping up the Taurus/Scorpio axis, however, with the final lunar eclipse in Taurus in a couple of weeks’ time. So as we’re working through the final stage of that particular polarity dynamic, (think death/rebirth, power and deep transformation (Scorpio) vs practicality, sensual pleasure, money and preservation (Taurus), we’re delving deeper into Aries/Libra themes, which center around independence vs relationship dynamics.
As the south node is in Libra and the north node is in Aries, this means we’re moving away from co-dependence and into more independence, learning to bring the focus back towards ourselves a little, in order to create a new and better life for ourselves on a personal level. One aspect of this dynamic is where the topic of this post comes into focus: losing yourself in the other vs staying true to yourself within a relationship. Personally, I have always tended towards the former, so with the Aries/Libra eclipses, I see an opportunity for me to move more towards the latter. Being more of the self-effacing type, this tendency has shown itself within many areas of my life, both in my friendships, at work, and of course, in romantic relationships.
Before I was thrust into my twin flame/ascension journey a few years ago, I tended to pretty much always be in a romantic relationship, needing the security and comfort of that setting to feel validated and loved. Lacking in self-love and the confidence to do things and just be on my own, I was needy and tended to change my life around for the other person. I was very quick to jump into relationships, never really taking time to move slowly through the stages of dating. This was due to deeper issues of abandonment, having developed an insecure attachment from my early years in life. From my awakening and twin flame journey I became aware of these deeper issues, that are still playing themselves out in my life in various ways.
After having met who I believe to be my twin flame a few years back, I of course immediately wanted to move into something deeper with him. As these connections go, that did not happen, as there was so much standing in the way of that, many wounds that I didn’t even realize back then. But as time went by, the twin flame dynamic, as well as other relationships, both friendships and work related, began to trigger and show me my wounds and deep traumas. I now know that if I had gone into a relationship with my twin back then, I would have gone into the same pattern as always, and perhaps even more so, because of the depth of the connection. Even without us being together, I still ended up losing myself in him as he took up so much space within my mind, feeling the need for him in an almost obsessive way.
This obsessive need has subsided with time, thankfully, but although I have released most of my need for my twin now, I still feel the need and related wounds in other connections I have experienced recently. As I have recently started dating and being open to meeting other men, some of my emotional patterns and neediness have resurfaced. I feel that is actually a good thing, though, as it is helping me to continue to heal and release much of it. It is not a comfortable thing, but as I am very familiar with my own issues and wounds at this point, and having worked through and released much of it already, I am capable of sitting with and allowing myself to move through the discomfort. It is perhaps mostly annoying more than anything now, as I feel that I would love to release this dysfunctional dynamic and neediness within myself for good. But patience is key, and it will take the time it takes.
So as the buildup towards the Solar Eclipse is mounting, this is what is coming up for me. My need for attention from another man, and that taking up most of my focus, as opposed to just being happy doing my own thing, focusing on myself and the things that I enjoy doing, building up my business, focusing on my music etc. But to become whole and happy within myself, I know I need to get to a place where the other person doesn’t consume so much of my time and focus, and I can be happy creating and living the life I want to live. Although, I have taking strides towards this already, some issues still linger, and I hope this particular eclipse will help me move a step further in that direction.
I hope it can do so for you too, if you’re experiencing similar issues, and that this post can serve as a reminder for you to look deeper into your potential wounds and blocks in this area of your life. Of course, if you feel you could use some help and support and work through some of your stuff with my assistance, feel free to reach out.
With that, I sign off for today, and wish you a happy Libra Solar Eclipse!
Sending you, as always, much love & light!
Divine Love Alchemy 